Thursday, May 27, 2010

We're back! For a minute anyway...

Now this is silly, I haven't written here because there's SO much to catch you all up on... but then there's so much that isn't written because I'm waiting to catch you up... falling farther behind. I hope I remember most of the things I want to write here and actually do it some day, but for now you'll have to start in the middle. I'm not going to miss anymore!

Today is the boys first day at daycare... I dreaded it. And honestly the part I dreaded worst was trying to figure it out logistically. How in the world were we going to get ready, get both boys ready, fed, take them to daycare and still get to work on time?! I will catch you up on this part... we've been incredibly spoiled! They're just starting daycare now because we didn't want to expose them to too many germs during cold and flu season. They were born in December, peak cold and flu season. They're were two months premature so they're especially susceptible to RSV which can be very dangerous for babies. Now here's the spoiled part... both of their Grandma's have been watching them, at our house for the past 3 1/2 months! They come to us! The Grandpa's have given up their wives for the better part of weeks so that they can help take care of our family! We have no idea what it takes to get out of the house... we've done it for doctors appointments and a couple family gatherings, we even made it over night, once. But to do it and be gone all day, for us to be gone from them all day, how do we do that?! I think that last part is key. No one knows babies like their parents, and in our case, like their Grandma's too. How do we get them ready for complete strangers to take care of? What if Elliott needs to be rocked and they don't know to do it? What if Simon needs to be cuddled, and they don't do it right? If I'm so worried about all this, how come I didn't cry when I left? Or all the way to work?It hit me like a ton of bricks when I was envisioning how my day would go until I pick them up. I was thinking of what I would say when I called (because I was most certainly going to) - "Hi, this is Simon and Elliott Cook's mom, Beth" - verbatim of what I said when I called the NICU 2/3 times a day in December and January. This isn't new to them. Yes, they are used to us, and our routine, but they'll adapt. Just like they have from the time they were born. I think for this point though, the more important thing for me to remember is that this isn't new to me either, as a new mom I had to learn immediately what it was like to leave my babies in the hands of complete strangers. I learned that even though I didn't always like what was happening, I knew that they were well cared for.

And the bottom line now, is that I know they'll be well cared for at daycare too.

I know that ALL those germs they're being exposed to now, is somehow better for them in the long run.

I know that making bonds with new people is important for their development. They're making friends now that they could possibly have through elementary school, middle school maybe even high school.

I know that tonight will probably be a long, cranky night from so much 'newness'.

I also know that because I know these things, I'm doing the best that I can for them - the best I know how.

Not too bad looking for being up so early (and in the middle of the night - Elliott decided he was hungry, which is unusual - of course!)

So, we were up at 5:45, we both showered, the boys were fed and dressed. We took a diaper bag full of things I'm sure they won't even begin to need half of. We took more than enough bottles. Barry was able to go with us for their first day too; so they had Mom, Dad and Grandma to wish them well on their first day. They didn't even seem to notice. They did notice that even though they had toys in their hands there were a WHOLE lot more in the basket next to them!

Hey Dad, what are these things? Where are we anyway?

Never mind - TOYS!

It's OK Mom, we'll be fine!

I just called: I got it a little backwards - "Hi, this is Beth Cook, Simon and Elliott's mom..." They're doing fine, eating well. Simon hadn't slept much, catnaps here and there. Elliott was still sleeping, had been for almost 2 hours! Tonight should be interesting!

I'm also going to post a couple unfinished posts that I wrote way back and saved as drafts, thinking I'd go back and edit and/or finish them. No time now, you get what you get!

TWINS! Our journey to finding out about TWO at once!

I was going to document every single step of our journey - I didn't get very far, but you may as well be privy to at least this much ;)

Getting Started

There's not much to say here, thankfully, as much as I was worried (only because that's what I do, is worry) I thought we'd have all kinds of problems "trying". But Barry and I had thought about March - just after our "baby - moon" to Costa Rica (which was wonderful and still WILL BE POSTED some day!) - okay lets see what happens when we don't prevent and not necessarily "try" (which I was trying to tell myself to take some self-induced pressure off), which only lasted about 3 months before we figured it out!

Finding Out

I had a routine doctor appointment scheduled for Tuesday May 19th. Barry was scheduled to work late that night so he was going in late - which meant he was home while I was getting ready. I thought, hmm, I have tests, I don't think so, but he's here, I don't want to be surprised at the doctor and then have to wait until 9 pm or so before I can tell him... if it's positive. So I took a test and almost immediately is started showing two pink lines - positive. I stared at it for a while and then said "Uh honey, you wanna come look at this?" completely shaking. Here I had prepared myself for at least 6 months of worry and trying and... OMG... we work! The second pink line was fading in and out a bit because it hadn't been the full recommneded time so Barry says "that one is kind of light... what does that mean?" I told him that when one of these tests was wrong it was almost always a false negative... not a false positive, we were pregnant. Unbenonced to me he went to work that day not assuming we were. My doctor appointment got canceled and rescheduled for the next day - I then found out the next day that they don't do pregnancy tests in the office anyway. That night I picked up another test that says "PREGNANT" of "NOT PREGNANT", clearly. I had sent a picture to Barry but he hadn't seen it before I talked to him. He said he was glad that he heard it from me over the phone instead of from a picture... I figured he'd know all day - I did?!? ;) (This is my post, he can retract anything on his own post, but this is how I remember it). I went to the doctor the next day and they drew blood to confirm. We left for a road trip to GA with my parents the next day, but I was able to get the call to confirm, yup, pregnant :)

Original draft post date and time: 8/17/09 2:54PM

Just over a year ago...

... we found out we were pregnant! This is from that day...

I’m sitting here at my desk in dis-belief. I took a home test this morning that had two pink lines, meaning pregnant. Barry looked at it and said “it’s not that pink…” ;) Poor guy! He's got a lot to learn, and it's going to happen pretty quickly! I took the test this morning because I have my yearly physical with the doc today, and going into it I wasn’t sure if I’d be newly pregnant or menstruating… I knew if I found out at the doctors I’d freak out a little, we had the tests at home, Barry was home with me since he was going in late since he’ll have to stay late, I figured I’d just see. I hadn’t felt different at all. Until I knew… now I’m hot and nauseous… yeah, I know, it’s going to be a long 9 months!

Original draft post date and time: 5/19/09 9:42 AM