I always have these “visions” of the way things are “supposed to be”. They rarely go that way, even before kids, but now especially. You know, the kind like Laura Ingalls and family running through the tall grass, all smiles… Or a picnic under the "old oak tree" in the middle of "the field"
I had visions of our family of four being outside together; the boys in their bouncies and mom and dad getting yard work done.
I had visions of getting their 6 month pictures taken and capturing those angelic faces on film so we could capture them perfectly, at this age.
I had visions of dressing them up in American flag shirts and having them hold flags, sitting by the flag outside, getting a couple more pictures.
It was our first holiday weekend together, just the four of us. We had been alone for the first time since we went back to work, during the week. We survived two days of daycare and no Grandma and no Grammy. Just the four of us. We were going to get things done around the house, venture out a little…
It only barely went that way… maybe ¼ that way.
We were outside for about 45 minutes. I had it planned; we were going to work around the house according to the shade. We made it through one side. I went inside with the boys and Barry stayed outside and worked alone.
Of course they didn’t both smile at the same time for pictures, they were both tired, Elliott pooped up his back (after we were done, thankfully, but later he threw up twice) and the sales person did an awful job helping us pick sizes, poses, etc. Of course they’re cute – they’re pictures of our boys; just not what was in my head.
Yesterday, Memorial Day, was full of occupying babies so that they weren’t both screaming at the same time. It w as probably a mix of being at daycare for two days, being outside the next, pictures after that and generally not feeling well… but they weren’t happy most of the day. Luckily Elliott only threw up once - in the morning, and Simon’s nose had quit spouting after EVERY sneeze, maybe every third. We did put the flag out, for about 2-3 hours before it started raining.
This is Elliott after pictures, passed out with Grandma
This is how tired Simon was after pictures - the next morning
It very well could have been that they are teething… WHAT?!?! My babies are teething? They’re babies!! HOW is that possible?
OK, stop with the visions… live in the moment. Keep what you have instead of imaging what you think you want. They’re already 6 months old. WHAT?! You ALWAYS hear people say that it goes so fast, you can’t imagine it. We heard it A LOT, from EVERYONE. But you CAN NOT IMAGINE, you can not explain how impossibly fast time goes.
Elliott and Simon are half a year old, already!! When I look back to that time in the dead of winter, what now feels like we could have been thrown into some sort of strange universe - recovering from surgery, being mom to two brand new babies, traveling back and forth between our new house and the hospital for two long months – it seems like a lifetime ago, already! So much has happened, they change every single day, and at some points I might have wished things had gone a little differently, but for the most part I wouldn’t change a thing! We aren’t running through tall grass, but what we are doing is somehow ;) much, much better!
Visions are nice, but I’m saving them for my nighttime dreams.