Life and Death

Irony is something else… just yesterday I wrote of daydreaming by the shores of Burt Lake and actually "publicly announcing” that we’re expecting our first child. Then the same day, later that evening, my dear Grandfather passed on. He was 95 years old, just. Apparently it was peaceful and I have no doubt that he had love surrounding him when he went. Everyone in his home told me every time I was there that Walter was one of their favorites. I have no reason not to believe them, they’re caring, big-hearted people who have an extremely difficult job, and enjoy it. I believe he was one of them that made it easier for them to.

My grandpa, Papa as we called him when we were kids, wasn’t really the type that you crawled up into his lap and fell asleep. But he was definitely someone you knew cared deeply for you. I think nearly every time we were at their house he’d get on the floor with us and build a car wash out of wood blocks for Danny’s matchbox cars to go through. He could ALWAYS pull a quarter out of your ear, no matter how many times you asked or even if you caught him off guard, we were none the wiser. I remember him being a busy man, I so wanted to help him tend to his roses that he took such good care of, but instead he found helicopter leaf after helicopter leaf for me to through into the air from the never ending supply in the back yard.

I’m finding this hard to write now - I truly miss him. He had that same gentle hand that Uncle Mike had, with just a touch, everything was alright. I knew two different Grandpa’s, three really. The one I mentioned, when I was a kid. Then when he and Grandma moved to Florida we were lucky enough to visit quite often. Those days I remember being amazed that his nightly walk was so important, and even more amazed that watching golf on TV could be so fascinating. And in those days when they would come visit here and I gave up my bed for him not once was a special note to me missing after they’d gone, thanking me for something I’d gladly done.

Then, when we FINALLY convinced him to leave “sunny Florida”, as he so affectionately called it, and move back to Michigan I knew another man. One that was proud and grateful all at once. You could see he did not like giving up his independence, but was also glad for the help. He did both with dignity, something I hope I can remember well enough to carry with me for the rest of my life. We had a lot of fun while he was living at mom and dads. He was always happy to see you when you stopped in and did his best with small talk. He had the best one liners, even the last visit Barry and I had with him on our own. I can’t repeat it; it’s no good without his delivery, but wow. He was full of them. Still to this day one of my favorites was when we were all gathered to celebrate his birthday (after he’d been with my parents for a summer, long enough to have eaten 6 meals a week straight from the grill) and not being one to lavish in gifts and celebrations was shown his birthday cake… “Bill probably grilled it.” Oh man, if you could have seen his face. Just a week and a half ago we had another wonderful celebration for his 95th birthday that I think he enjoyed quite a bit.

He didn’t change much after he moved into the home. He quickly won the hearts of the employees there (who happened to be mostly female) and gained a friend in each of them.

I’m thankful that we were able to tell him about our incredible journey to come and how thrilled he was to hear that we’re expecting not one, but two babies; I’ll just have to imagine what he looks like holding them.

I love him very much and he will be missed greatly.

1 1/2 weeks away!

So I find myself sitting here daydreaming about Burt Lake. And then in awe that I’m 31 years old and I still get just as excited about it as I did when I was kid. I’ll have to check with my mom about how long it’s been, but I’m fairly certain we’ve been going for about 20 years. The kind of excitement hasn’t changed either, the things we do hasn’t. I think the thing I still look forward to most is spending a whole week with my family, getting to see my cousins, my aunts and uncles, friends of all of ours. There is an unmistakable bond created by just being with extended family. You don’t have to say anything, you just interact, fun on each other a bit, play like you’re 4 years old again. And it’s all the things really.

Like driving to town with my dad because we need bread and it’s a foggy morning anyway, no good for swimming (of course it’s great for fishing but he recognizes that us kids need to escape for just a minute and happily takes us on his errand). Not like my mom who does her best to stay at camp not leaving unless absolutely necessary (or for ice cream), get as much relaxing in as can possibly be all the while holding down things at camp just like she does at home, which I also admire.

It’s things like sitting by the campfire and listening to each others stories, sharing games and the best part, just sitting with each other. Sometimes we talk about our best friends, sometimes we talk about each other, sometimes Uncle George will give his opinion on something like it’s the worlds bible, no one says much, all you can do is sit and reflect on how that could possibly be. Sometimes it’s scary at how much sense it makes, its so matter of fact you can’t argue.

It’s watching my mother-in-law finally get her time to relax and read a book by the lake in the sun, early in the morning. Admiring all the things my father-in-law can come up with the fix whatever problem you might have, truly boy scouting in the woods. It’s watching my husband bond with the family I’ve known my whole life and making them his, and him theirs. That brings a tear to my eye and I realize everyday how lucky I am for it.

I look forward to watching the next generation, Jackson and Cameron, play together in the water and run through the grass. And I look forward to watching Jake react to the sand for the first time. I also look forward to my own children someday experiencing all those same things. I look forward to playing volleyball and giving Aunt Debbie a hard time about making us follow “the” rules. Something that any place else you’d never allow such a group to play a game and call it a “sport”. Some may call it sport…

To me, it really is this magical place where the fog settles over the water and everyone is happy, all at once, and together. Not to mention it’s the magical place that Barry asked me to his wife!

Each year when we drive down Brutus road, leaving the campground, EVERY year, I have to try my best to hold back the impending stream of tears. The only thing that helps is knowing that there’s next year.


So I know I haven’t posted in long while. We have actually had our fair share of excitement. I still owe you an update on lots of things, including my doctor’s appointment – all blood work came back great. My cholesterol was still lowered, my folic acid was off the charts and in fact that same day we found out we were expecting our first child! But, more on that later. I have a feeling this blog may be shifting a bit in content ;)

Birthday presents!

It's been so long that I didn't ever write about our great trip to Traverse City... wine touring (Barry's birthday present)! We had lots of fun...
let's just say that we ended up with 14 bottles of wine! :) We highly recommend the Old Mission Peninsula over Leelanau too, at least for tasting. 

And before that even, we went to the Lion King (my birthday present), which was AMAZING! I'd heard it was good, but I had no idea how good. This is a photo courtesy of Jackson who spent the weekend with us

Obviously it's a little late to write about what actually went on, but these pictures are fun to have! :)

Oh, and as a follow up to yesterday, you'll have to wait... just like me. The doctor had something come up so I have to wait until tomorrow. I'm so curious to see how running has effected things, if at all! Anyway, I'm sure I'll write about it... at some point.

Another great one in the books!

Seems like they just keep coming, great weekends that is! How glorious it is to have some Spring, finally! Last weekend was great, of course, because we spent it celebrating two of the best Mother’s any couple could have. Barry and I always consider ourselves so lucky that we found each other but that we also found some pretty great in-laws in the process. We spent Saturday with my mom which worked out well so that we could all be together since Jackson was going to be spending mother’s day with his mom. We went out for breakfast, did some very rainy flower shopping, had a nap, and then a terrific dinner. Sunday we drove to Trufant and had grilled burgers (made by mom? but I think she likes to do it!) with the whole family… mmm!!

And wow, it’s been a LONG time since I’ve posted anything… I won’t bore you with every detail (although we’ve had lots of fun and we wouldn’t call it boring! ;) But we did run our 5K the weekend before Mother’s Day! It was a lot of fun, mostly because of the people ;) We (I; Barry probably would have been much faster had he not stayed with me, for which I’m very grateful he did! I probably would have walked half of it had he not been with me) finished right about 40 minutes, which I realize is not great, but faster than the walkers! I’m approximating we walked for about 7 minutes of those 40… now we have something to shoot for next time… guess we’d better sign up for a next time soon! We finished up the race with lunch in Royal Oak with the other 50+ people on team K-rock and then had a fabo night in Hamtramck with some of the WMTU crew at the St. Florians strawberry festival and then drinks at the Roosevelt Bar. Those guys are pretty great hosts! Also that weekend we got to spend Friday night with baby Jake, who I’m sure looks totally different now, since that was 2 weeks ago! Then got to spend a lot of the day with the Vanderford’s on Sunday, which was awesome since we haven’t seen Madeline since her first birthday and now she’s 18 months! Missy drove out and spent the day too – she and I talked a little bit on facebook about how weird it is to miss people so much more if you haven’t seen them in so long when you finally do get together! Must mean you miss them for good reasons J

I suppose this weekend didn’t start off so great, but only because I decided to start it Friday night by watching Marley and Me. I knew it was sad, but I also heard it was good… so I had to see it. I was stuffed up for an hour afterward, but it didn’t effect me so that I thought about it all weekend… it’s just such a sad part of the cycle. But it got better and better from there…

Saturday morning I went to have my blood drawn for my physical coming up. I know this sounds crazy, and it’s not normally this way, but I’m looking forward to my appointment. While I’ve gained a significant amount of weight back since I quit smoking, I still eat healthier than I ever have. I’ve also been “running” periodically, which is probably the most regular exercise I’ve had in some time. And I’ve been taking folic acid for at least a year in anticipation of someday being pregnant, and supposedly the longer you have it built up, the better. So I’d really like to see what the doc has to tell me. I’m hoping for good news, for the most part, I know shedding some pounds has to be a priority, but other than that I’m thinking I’ll like what he has to say. Let’s hope I don’t get my hopes up just to be let down! I’m not anticipating that though :). Barry and I met my mom, Danny and Jackson downtown for a parade celebrating Lansing’s 150th year! It was nearly 3 hours long and would not have been worth it without a 4 year dancing around to the music and entertaining us. And if you’ve seen my face, or Danny’s or my mom’s or Jackson’s even, we were surprised (pleased at the time because it was so cold!) by the sun. We’re all pretty red. That’s the best (easiest) time to get burnt, is when you least expect it. Barry got home at about 7 (he left the parade a little earlier, escaping the burn, to play some D&D) and we just started talking about when we might do for dinner when I decided to call over to my parents to see if they were as red as I felt. Yes. It ended up that we were invited over for pizza and a fire! S’mores on a May night have never hit the spot so well!

Sunday we wound up at a new park to run that a friend recommended. It has a 5K trail that we opted not to run quite yet… we’re still building back up from our week off after the first 5K… oops. But it was a nice park, good run, my hips are still angry, but they’ll get over it – they usually do! My mom and sucked it up and wore our red faces to the East Lansing art festival and craft show later in the afternoon. TONS of people, cool stuff, a couple of really neat purchases and another yummy dinner at the folks, most importantly a win from the Wings and entertainment from Jackson wrapped up the weekend :)

Two and a half more work days and we’ll be on the road to Georgia to hang with family and celebrate two graduations! Cousin George from UGA and cousin Charlotte from high school. Let’s just hope there isn’t never ending fruit to cut up this time! JK Aunt Sue, I meant it; I’m bringing our melon baller! ;)

WE DID IT!

We ran for 20 minutes, all at once, and didn't die!! For all of you actual runners, in shape people I can hear you clap, clap, with  little or no enthusiasm (actually, anyone reading this probably is actually clapping for us cause you're all great - but for the story, something, something). If you're as out of shape, and shapely, like myself, this program really is something! Each time we've had to "level up" I get really nervous, like I think I can do it, but it'll probably hurt, and what if I can't? So far each time it does hurt and we do it anyway. I really felt ill this morning, like really... I'm one of those people who HATE running! You want me to go from running at 8 minute intervals twice to running for 20 minutes straight... without stopping?!? OK. 6 weeks ago I had a pit in my stomach when we had to go from running 90 seconds to 3 minutes. The program knows what it's doing. 

Barry runs faster than me, but because he's the incredible husband he is, he normally runs ahead a bit, turns around, runs back behind me a ways turns around and catches up again... so we (I) have the support around for most of the run. Because we've both been increasing our running time we had to both start carrying our own stop watches (which works out well since we just use our iPods and can then also listen to whatever pumps us up). The way this program works and the way we've been doing it is to walk "briskly" for 5 minutes before any segment and then stretch a bit too. (This is going somewhere, promise). Sometimes I time the 5 minute walk, sometimes not. Last time I didn't. So we start out on our run and the first two minutes I'm like OMG... how am I going to do this for 20 minutes?!? And then my body just kind of gives in... okay fine. I get a rhythm, don't look at the watch, there's no point in being defeated. I have to skip a song on shuffle... 12 minutes!!! WOW! That was cake, I CAN DO THIS! At about 16:30 in Barry passes by me and I ask if we should turn around soon, he says "not quite yet..." and keeps on going. I'm thinking, what's wrong with you, we only have about 4 minutes left, we just ran for 16 min... the car is back the other way... STOP. I wish you could have seen my face, I wish I could have. I timed the five minute walk... I was JUST now half way. Well, guess you just keep going... and I did :) It was a nice feeling, when it was over. I'm sure I'll look funny tomorrow when I try to walk, especially after about 2 1/2 hours of yard work yesterday, but WE DID IT! Just as the rain was starting too, felt good at the end! :)

On a less happy side note - we run at Granger park, which is about a 5 minute drive from here, it's got lots of paved pathways and some of it's hilly and open, some of it's flat and wooded, it's not in our neighborhood, it's nice. Some jerk kids decided to go through the pathway and knock over every trash can and bench. Seriously? The city creates this great park... and this is the best thing you can of to do on a Saturday night? I'm sorry... I'm sorry for you. Good luck. We'll keep running anyway. 

5K in two weeks! :)

Oh, and in case you're curious ;) Update to yesterday - soup is awesome; some weeds/leaves gone for good - flowers can breath; coupons cut and went out to dinner instead of grocery shopping. We both figured we deserved it since husband had to spend almost all day on that beautiful day, working. Grocery shopping today, it's raining so it'll be a good day for it! I'm just hoping that rain will clean up some of the dirt mess I left yesterday! ;P

Running and pictures

So tonight will be the third "run" in our thrid week of the couch to 5K plan. Neither one of us are very happy with the third week - you jog for 90 seconds, walk for 90 seconds, jog for THREE MINUTES, walk for three minutes, repeat once. I'm scared of the next week, I think they throw a five minute stint in there somewhere. We're still going though, and it's been really a lot of fun. Barry said to me on the way home last week that he really enjoyed that we were doing this together, he hates it while he's doing it (me too!) but it's something we can learn - together. He's pretty sweet!

Also - I was really going to make a concerted effort to get the blog updated from our Costa Rica journal, before I posted pictures... so that if you read the excerpts first you'd have an idea of what was behind the pictures. Well, I'm not getting to the journal part like I hoped, so here's the pictures (some anyway)! I did caption them so you'll at least know somethings ;) (Sorry if you have to sign up for a snapfish account to see these, but it's free, and this is the only place I have them online, that's handy).

Hope this finds everyone healthy and happy!

I've never felt so much peace, than when he was sitting with me. Not saying a word, just being there. My Uncle Mike knew that my Aunt Laura's passing was hard on me and I felt like he made it his responsibility to make me feel as safe (I can't think of another word for it) as possible. Of course it was hard on all of us, she was 41 and had just come back to us. But he knew, and made sure I knew.

He's going through an unbelievable battle right now and, from what I hear, is being kept as comfortable as possible. No one is ever ready for anyone to die, it's just that from the time I heard he had cancer I assumed he would beat it. I always assumed he would just be there, just like he always has been. They've called hospice, which means he's stopped treatment. I think I'm too sad to try to process what's happening, what this might mean for my mom, Uncle Dave and my Grandpa, and for Amy, Ian, Conner, Somer and Corey... for all of us.