Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Am I too cynical for a blog?

I’m worried. Can I write in this blog and not be mean? I don’t really consider myself to be a mean person; I would consider myself to be somewhat cynical though & I suppose there is some difference, although not much sometimes. I said that I thought I was becoming more and more cynical to my dad several years ago and he acted like I’d learned a new word and wanted to use it. “What?! You’re far too young for that!” He said, and left it at that. I thought for a while he might be right, but this world makes it tough. If you’ve seen Gran Torino it’s like the kids that walk by the lady with the groceries falling out of the trunk of her car and making obscene gestures or the ONE kid that runs to her aid. Do I BELIEVE in that one kid anymore? More and more I don’t. Am I Clint Eastwood? I really hope not. But it probably also doesn’t help that I grew up believing in Ward and June Cleaver. That’s how families were, that’s the things they did… in my mind. I went to Eastern High School, and Otto Middle School which probably today if you walked into either and knew me you’d think, “no way she survived”. They are different places than they were 15+ (?!?!) years ago, but a little rougher than some. My point is, I didn’t live in a bubble, but I did have an ideal for how people should act and treat each other. They (people) did act that way for a long time, and I chose fairly carefully so that I was around the ones that seemed to have the same idea in people as I did. But as time went on, people disappointed, family members passed away, I watched the news. Don’t get me wrong, please, I rather love living life. I generally like, most I even love, the people that are in my life. I do try to keep my glass half full too. It’s just from time to time people get on my nerves, some even that might eventually read this. I’ll try my best to keep those thoughts though for my sweet (poor – for having to listen to it) husband or anyone else who happens to get one of my tangents now and then, privately, if I need to get them out.

But, since I’m not entirely sure I can “not be mean”, you might hear a whole lot about our cats. Speaking of… oh okay, I’ll leave it for later when I’m not quite so salty! ;)

P.S. I wonder if it’s coincidence that I feel the need to write about this on such a historic day? I do have hope that this president will deliver on the promises of change. A brighter outlook for everyone.


Steph said...

B- you are so NOT cynical! You are the person I call (or write) when I need to be cheered up or told life's going to be ok! You are not Clint Eastwood and I know you do believe in the kid who helped pick up the groceries (you're one of them!) (BTW... loved that movie! It was one of those gansta-ish (is that a word?) movies I couldn't not see!)

Anyway... "you can't change the things that you can't change"!... j/k!!! ;)

Beth said...

See - you're right Steph, how can I ever be cynical when I have friends like you?!?! :)